Make-up Gifts

Robert Smith - The Cure.

'Can you make my husband look like George Clooney?'

"You can try make-up, but you're a banana...age spots are inevitable."

Anita Roddick

'Look at it this way - It's tested your waterproof make-up.'

'I spend an hour applying make-up so he can say, 'See, Honey you don't need make-up!''

The Toilette of Salome I - suppressed version

'I don't rate black lipstick - liquorice is less messy and more flavoursome.'

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"Well, my wife would be angry too if I was spending more money on make-up than she was."

"While I wait for you to put on your make-up, I'll go paint the church."

'No, we don't do any animal testing, but don't rule out a pop quiz once in a while.'

'No, Joe! It's wearing lipstick! That's the boss's pig!

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

Tortoise Checks Make-up In Shell.

"You look great. Let's go!"

News headline: stars without make-up!

Make-up Advice - Fair Skin, Dark Skin, Clowns.

Cosmetics Dept: 'Maybe you've been using paint, when you should be using nails...'

'Make-up? Aisle three.'

"If we're going out tonight I 'd better go and start putting my make-up on"

Fred didn't know what was odder: his wife's beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that he actually tried the tip.

'It's MURDER putting on make-up with no reflection!'

"Just give me a minute to put some make-up on!"

'Edna, we're late! You don't have time for a second coat!'

"Your eyebrows are beautiful, darling. I know you hate drawing them on."

Woman doing her make-up in the courtroom.

The Toilette of Salome II - replacement version

"I need to look younger because I'm incredibly immature for my age."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: A Bob Named Sue

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."