Major League Hopefuls Gifts

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

'No, Billy, their first baseman is messing with your head. You won't go to hell for stealing second.'

'Kid, go out there and play like you're worth 29 million plus signing bonus, buyouts, and endorsement deals. '

'We're sending you down, Hartnett. You need to work on your scratching and spitting.'

"I'm sorry but Mr. Berrell is in Port St. Lucie trying out for the Mets."

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"

Window in the Outfield.

"If I'm not in the Hall of Fame by 41 I'm getting induced."

"Winning isn't the only thing, Junior. It's how much money you can get in a pro contract."

'...Baseball bats, gentlemen, are sacred objects. We do not dress them up in doll clothing.'

'You're behind on every pitch, Billy! Try choking up on the bat!'

'You're failing chemistry!' 'But...you're taking away my dream of becoming a professional athlete!'

'Wow! That must be a big league baseball!'

"I'm sorry, Timmy, but Mr. Jeter's promise to hit you a home run isn't covered by your existing HMO."

'OK, that's strike two. What is your third wish?'

'AS a kid I dreamed of playing first base, but all my parents could afford was an oven mitt.'

Field of Broken Dreams