Magical Metaphor Lover Gifts

'You're in luck, Mr. Gandalf, we have a vacancy for a Powerpoint wizard.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

Is plagiarism the same as value adding?

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

All this pressure to be the perfect storm...

'I'm a fat cat in a dog-eat-dog world.'

Out of control

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

Rats deserting a sinking ship

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

They say animals have the sixth sense and the talent to look into the future...

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

"Naturally you have trouble getting in touch with your innermost feelings. You're a hollow choclate bunny."

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

I channeled John Dewey. He says if you want to be a good teacher, don't teach reading and writing. Teach students.

"What a day, I swam with the sharks, ran with the bears and wreastled with the bulls..."

Dangling Carrots

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

"Well, I guess the bubble has burst over at Phillips Rodny Associates."

For services to Tourism. . .

'You will go 3 for 5 tomorrow.'

"There you go again, withdrawing into your shell..."

Life is Like a Box of Chocolates

Poet becomes a puppeteer for his own hand.

"It's what I do."

Miss Underhill's School Of Writing Sample Lesson

"All I'm saying is, why do we always have to sit on just one side of the table, all bunched up?"

Crow to crow: 'It's about 20 miles from here, not exactly following any highway, but more in a straight line, like as if you were to fly ...'

"That door's no protection against Hobgoblins." - Elf And Safety Inspector

"I know it's awkward with me being the new boss and all....but when you meet me in the halls, don't act like I'm going to eat you alive."

Workers & Health Costs

"Well, it looks like the shit finally hit the fan. So, who wants to lick the blades?"