Mafioso Gifts

"Of course I got rid of the body. Don't you follow me on Twitter?"

"Maybe it's time to go through that mail, huh, Godfather?"

Whatsa matter, Joey, you don't want to go on a little picnic with us? Fair weather enemies.

This is your last warning, Jimmy - You break your pinky promise, we break your pinky.

'When your kite gets blown away.'

'I hope you don't mind sleeping with the fishes, Mister Scarponi?'

"So, uh, how much is it to store a self?"

"Housekeeping?!"

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

He loves the water.

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

I always forget - Are we supposed to tip?

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

Mafia Short-Term Memory Clinic. 'Fuhgettaboutit.'

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

The Birthday Mafia Sends a message.

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"I like his style. He makes it look like an accident."

'Sure we've got a lot of anger. We also got a lot cement.'

'Lewis and Cabrini.'

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

"Sorry, Boss, I thought you wanted me to make it look like an accident."

'Relax... When I said, your husband's swimming with the fishes. I merely meant that he's gone SCUBA diving with the boss.'

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

Why did the chicken cross the mafia

'Before you buy the gun can I ask if you thought about taking your cat to the vets first?'

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

"Better idea! Let's obstruct traffic in the guy's neighborhood and make his morning commute difficult!"

"Your resume indicates a fair bit of experience in the field of problem solving."

"Who, Big Sal? Sure, we were in cahoots years ago, but we fell out of cahoots."