Mad Scientist Wannabe Gifts

Familiarity tries, unsuccessfully, to breed contempt in the lab.

'I was trying to create an anti-aging formula using stem cells.'

"Whoa, whoa – for all I know you contaminated the sample."

"And now, a little experiment I worked on over the summer."

"'Let's try the shrink ray!' you said, 'what could possibly go wrong?', you said."

"When you said we were doing some DIY, I thought you were making a coffee table."

Thank you for not asking how my experiment is coming along.

Armstrong, what's going on? Go away. I'm busy. You've been in there for days. Something strange is going on. Yes, something strange, if not downright bizarro. Institute for Capitalist Exploitation. Soon the world will be mine.

'Apparently your DNA is composed of battery acids instead of nucleic acids.'

'Bow wow? Did I transplant your brain, too?'

Scientist with test tube.

Frankenstein goes to get head and shoulders,

'Its cost-benefit rate is low, and its risk-benefit rate is low, but its dirt-benefit rate is very, very high.'

'J.B. Potts, Head of Research, Aerodynamics...'

"Daylight savings? Standard time? Why don't we just change the axis of the earth?"

"Young Frankenstein"

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'

Jr. cloning kit

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

Yound Einstein disproves an early theory: 'Aha! A watched pot DOES boil!'

Early cyborg.

Mayhem, Inc. Part 1: Prologue

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

'Roger's busy making a cat-flap in the kitchen.'

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

"Do you realize that you and I have it in our power to cause quite a brouhaha?'

"Boss is coming! Discover something!"

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

Jars containing a Brain and a Brain Fart.

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'Bad man. . . you are a Bad Man!'

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

Cat Frankenstein