Mad Scientist Humor Gifts

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'Teenagers!'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Yound Einstein disproves an early theory: 'Aha! A watched pot DOES boil!'

Early cyborg.

Schrodinger's Black Box

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

She loves to play with string theory.

'Roger's busy making a cat-flap in the kitchen.'

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

"Boss is coming! Discover something!"

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

Cell Bar & Grill. Happy Hour All Day. The new owner is an endorphin.

How Glaciations Begin

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

The new Physics