Macho Ego Appreciator Pillows

"You want to fight, big guy? Let's arm wrestle."

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

David Bowie

Soldiers' Ego

Macho Vegetarian

Alpha males through the ages!

Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast.

Man with many tattoos.

"One last question, Berlinger. Is it just you, or is the whole damn Accounting Department shot full of steroids?"

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

'Mirror, mirror, on the silo, who's the studliest bull in Shiloh?'

"Well, for starters I'd like to thank me."

"I tell you what, ladies really dig my bad boy image!"

'That rig has made me feel more like a man than any woman ever did.'

"Who's gorgeous face is this I see? Is it a special person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with?"

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

"Take no notice of George - it's just because he opened a jam jar earlier!"

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

Arm and leg wrestling.

'I have to tell you,Tristan- I'm beginning to feel used....'

"If it's your chair, man up and get him out of it!"

"Your old boyfriend came by. He wants to patch things up."

"What do you mean, you don't know who I am? I am Ralph. Ralph! Surely you have heard of Ralph."

'Will you sorry excuse for Vikings shut up and go to sleep?!'

"Underneath this placid Brooks Brother facade, I'm up to my neck in some excellent biker tattoos."

'My speed limit is bigger than yours.'

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

The Men Thing. . .

"Still working from home, I see."

Macho Males: Putin and Obama

'Oh yeah? Step outside and say that!'

'Yes, this bike complies with the town's new noise pollution laws, but we've programmed this MP3 player with brrroom brrroom sounds, so you can still feel macho while riding it.'

"Now that's a splinter."

'Remember, talk up your athlete's foot -- it's the most macho thing about you.'