Machinist Gifts

Whatever the heck it is, it's built exactly to specifications.

'Just as we finally get the industrial revolution down pat, we find ourselves in the middle of the electronic revolution.'

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

'Haverford Steel' 'Temporarily closed - Mr. Haverford is taking some medication, and was told not to operate heavy machinery.'

'You wouldn't think it turned out ball bearings would you?'

I Love Milling Machines

"Can you play computer games on that machine?"

"And now with extra powerful dust suction!"

"There's trouble at ball-bearing works!"

Primitive boring techniques at an early caveman wheel factory.

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"I told him to trim a couple of inches off the middle and he thought it was a fat remark."

"And then they came out with a desktop model."

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

"I understand your machine makes O-rings."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

Drool Marks

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

Walking Luggage.

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'My electric car is giving me static!'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"Take me to your mechanic."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

Motivation to work

Small child building a large contraption from junk

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

Directions: Call a smart friend.

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'