Machine Whisperers Pillows

Depending on somebody else to do something right phobia: 'You mean nobody knows where they put the fuse box?'

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."

"When you say you're behind me 100%, do you mean base ten or binary?"

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Computer help.

Man and Machine snoozing

"They don't appear to want to take over. They just want to dance."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

Turing Test Today

"I don't know - the minute I figured out how to make it self-aware it realized it was naked, ran, and hid from me."

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

"No more nuts and bolts for you!"

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

"Blimey, he's not the sharpest tool in the box, is he?"

'If it wants to dream, we could give it some vague, unstructured problem to mull over during the night.'

Cellular Plan

'You're very tense today.'

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

"I keep getting the feeling I’m being watched."

"When I said 'do everything for me,' I didn't mean drink my beer and eat my pizza."

'My Turing Machine doesn't understand me.'

"Vous voyez quoi pour l'avenir de l'humanité?"