Machine Whisperers T-Shirts

Depending on somebody else to do something right phobia: 'You mean nobody knows where they put the fuse box?'

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."

"When you say you're behind me 100%, do you mean base ten or binary?"

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

Man and Machine snoozing

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Computer help.

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"They don't appear to want to take over. They just want to dance."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

Turing Test Today

"I don't know - the minute I figured out how to make it self-aware it realized it was naked, ran, and hid from me."

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

"No more nuts and bolts for you!"

"Stinking politicians and their dirty laundry!" "That's Bob. He's watching 'CSPIN', again."

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

Cellular Plan

'If it wants to dream, we could give it some vague, unstructured problem to mull over during the night.'

"Blimey, he's not the sharpest tool in the box, is he?"

'You're very tense today.'

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

Gym. I'm not sweating --- My muscles are crying!

Information might travel at the speed of light, but the news still travels at the speed of sound bites.

'My Turing Machine doesn't understand me.'

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."