Macabre Foodie T-Shirts

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'Do you want toast with that?'

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

The moat won't keep you from raiding the fridge if you order him to lower the drawbridge.

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

Doughnut Criminals

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

"Oh, how nice. You're just in time to cut the vegetables,"

Intolerant Chef

Pizza Exam: 'Just deliver it around the back of 'B' block. The money will be by the window. . .'

Tiny restaurant portion. Man finds magnifying glass amongst cutlery.

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

Coven ready - Witch in supermarket with a 'coven ready' chicken

"Instead of string beans, can I get brains?"

"Cemetery Pie"

Meditation Munchies

"Stomach content analysis shows the onions were sauteed after the pork was added but before adding the fennel."

'All you can eat, burgers.'

'What can you whip up real quick? We're eating on the run today.'

'Give me a size 12 please.'

"I have no trouble losing weight...it's just that I'm better at finding it."

'Have you seen my husband? I left him by the lobster tank a few minutes ago!'

I'm still hungry. Go back four seconds.

'A candy bar and cheese crackers? You call that a balanced lunch?'

Special - Day Old Cones

'And a piece of algae for Omega 3.'

"Check, please."

"You cheeky little monkey, Stephen, trying to pinch a chip."

'Do you have a royalty card?'

'This must be their seasonal menu. These prices are scary!'

Barry devises a way to get two lunches.