Luxury Satirist Pillows

Water Towers Labelled 'Still' and 'Sparkling'

"Listen pal...when I said I wanted my steak rare...I meant some form of endangered species!"

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'Have you any W fronts?'

"You didn't seriously think that one does one's own huffing and puffing these days, did you?"

Death Styles of the Rich and Famous

The Inventor of the Man Bun!

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

"Well your results would be normal if you were a 108 and smoked a 60 a day!"

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

"Thank god for Sudoku."

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'

Stay at home

Home for the Holidays

Luke Warm & Over E-Z: The World's Blandest Rappers.

Everyone knew it was a hideous style, but nothing was ever said.

Skinny model in wardrobe - 'Clothes hang better on skinny models.'

"I'll only remove what's necessary...your gall bladder and the man bun."

The latest fall fashion trends

"A lifetime of illicit substance abuse, chain-smoking, excessive alcohol consumption and eating nothing but crap . . . and you have the nerve to tell me I'm dying of 'natural causes!'"

Paparazzi at the Local Dump