Luxury Satirist Gifts

Water Towers Labelled 'Still' and 'Sparkling'

"Listen pal...when I said I wanted my steak rare...I meant some form of endangered species!"

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Reese Witherspoon

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

Michael Jackson - Mission fulfilled.

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'Have you any W fronts?'

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

The Inventor of the Man Bun!

"You didn't seriously think that one does one's own huffing and puffing these days, did you?"

Death Styles of the Rich and Famous

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

Daniel Craig caricature

"Well your results would be normal if you were a 108 and smoked a 60 a day!"

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

"Thank god for Sudoku."

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'

Home for the Holidays

Stay at home

George Clooney.

Luke Warm & Over E-Z: The World's Blandest Rappers.

Everyone knew it was a hideous style, but nothing was ever said.

Skinny model in wardrobe - 'Clothes hang better on skinny models.'

"I'll only remove what's necessary...your gall bladder and the man bun."

Paparazzi at the Local Dump

"A lifetime of illicit substance abuse, chain-smoking, excessive alcohol consumption and eating nothing but crap . . . and you have the nerve to tell me I'm dying of 'natural causes!'"

The latest fall fashion trends