Luxury Humor Seeker Pillows

'We're thinking of adding a gazebo. I could go there when I'm feeling trapped and resentful.'

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

Piranhaclaus

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'Oh, crap.'

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"It's probably just seasonal."

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

Now that we've developed lungs, it's only a matter of time before we feel guilty about not exercising.

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

'I'm an atheist!'

Shell Fire

Fishing Boat Derby

"Do you know Lincoln's Gettysburg Address?"

'She looks just like you when you were that age.'

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

'Great job Zork, we're lost... you couldn't find Uranus with both hands and a flashlight!'

Easter Candy Island.

Beware of the Cat.

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."