Luxury Dining Lover T-Shirts

'I'd like this pinot noir, but I can't afford it - and I own the winery.'

"Regular service or affected?"

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

"You cheap shit! Why can't we have a designer divorce?"

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

"Can you recommend a wine that goes well with red meat, Zanex, and Lipitor?"

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"I'll have the Mediterranean truffle sea bass, pan seared, and thrown into my mouth from across the room."

"We're out of flowers."

-A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"When I eat out, I like to order something I would never make at home."

"I think glamour is fine until it slips over into glitz."

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."

"What do you recommend today?"

"Wow, you've got to try this combination."

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

F&E Diner. You asked for a hot breakfast, so I put some jalapenos on your corn flakes!

"Oops, my bad … It is vinegar."

"Hope I like it? Are you kidding me? Grass is my FAVOURITE!"

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

Just Married an Oil Baron

'I do like the moat.'