Lunch Line Warrior Gifts

Centurion with an empty plate.

La Table

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'Bring me another coffee would you...'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

Fast Food Dieter

Odysseus returns to the Laundromat

Boy defends his last fry.

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

Those missing socks...where do they go?

It took a while but Henk finally did lose his Christmas bum.

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

"Damn it, who ate all the chèvre?"

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

'Don't be tempted, Mrs. Root, just mail those apple fritters right here to me!'

"Laundry or composting?"

Female sock walks away from male sock, saying: 'Look, it's just a trial separation, OK?'

Fortunately, his training had prepared him to deal with all types of customers.

"'A land of milk and honey'? - But I'm on a DIET!"

'What's intravenous feeding? My mom says if I don't eat my vegetables, she'd do that to me!'

Patience Tested While You Wait.

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

Knights of the Coffee Table

"For the last time-empty your pockets before you put your robe in the wash."

"Some of your lost socks were clogging up the motor."

"I see a couple of chairs over there by the naked guy working on his laptop."

"I'll need a sticker per sock."

The end of hibernation.

'Here's your diet -- notice the two-minute warning.'

'You are not losing weight! Put down the knife and fork and pick up the dumbbells!'

"It's the only way I can get myself out of bed in the morning."

Nerds have always had trouble picking up women.

Rage Against the Washing Machine