Lunar Laugher Gifts

Astronaut Slips On A Banana Peel

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

"Eureka!!" "Guess again, Einstein."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

'As a boss you'll find me hard, but fair. Actually, that's only half true.'

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

'Never go berry pickin' on an empty stomach.'

"The bloodwork came back kinda yucky."

"I don't care how it's pronounced, I want it."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Berger. I must have accidentally pressed the 'Sycophant' button."

Coast to coast.

Jim's Mowing Services

The Gingerbread Man's cousin, the hash cookie man.

'Moon'

'I said, I think I know whey you're finding it lonely at the top.'

"I did follow my bliss. It wandered around in circles and then ended up at an Arby's in Hoboken."

Bad Ant Joke

Old Mother Hubbard, Went to the Cupboard...'Now what did I come here for?'

'Don't you think it's strange that it's called mooning when the moon never actually shows its backside!'

'What's for lunch...Vegetables?'

'We're a little overcrowded in here, boys- pick a number between one and one hundred.'

"How am I supposed to guide the sleigh with this mask on?"

'Who's there?'

'We're looking for a mother figure.'

"You're the only one I know stilling calling people 'Uber' this and 'Uber' that."

"Any advance on 'cat wazz'?