Lunar Laugher Gifts

Astronaut Slips On A Banana Peel

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

"Eureka!!" "Guess again, Einstein."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

'As a boss you'll find me hard, but fair. Actually, that's only half true.'

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

"The bloodwork came back kinda yucky."

'Never go berry pickin' on an empty stomach.'

"Oh, I'm sorry, Berger. I must have accidentally pressed the 'Sycophant' button."

"I don't care how it's pronounced, I want it."

Coast to coast.

'Moon'

'I said, I think I know whey you're finding it lonely at the top.'

The Gingerbread Man's cousin, the hash cookie man.

Jim's Mowing Services

Bad Ant Joke

"I did follow my bliss. It wandered around in circles and then ended up at an Arby's in Hoboken."

Old Mother Hubbard, Went to the Cupboard...'Now what did I come here for?'

"How am I supposed to guide the sleigh with this mask on?"

'Who's there?'

'It's a tweet from heaven. They say if we don't stop watching them, they're going to tell God.'

'We're a little overcrowded in here, boys- pick a number between one and one hundred.'

'What's for lunch...Vegetables?'

'Don't you think it's strange that it's called mooning when the moon never actually shows its backside!'

'We're looking for a mother figure.'

Q. U. E.. F. The only time I know when they've been apart is when he was in "Iraq."

"You're the only one I know stilling calling people 'Uber' this and 'Uber' that."

"Any advance on 'cat wazz'?