Luggage Inspector Gifts

'Do you know he's got body parts in that suitcase?'

'What's with the overnight bag, Orville?'

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

Airport

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

"This trip, we'd like to go everywhere our luggage goes."

"How's my tripping you up?"

Lightening the load at the Weigh Station.

'HA! This time, I thought of my passport! It's right here, in my jackets' inside-pocket!'

"Sorry, sir. The baggage must match the passenger."

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

'They're out there, they swallow your stuff, and who're you gonna call?'

An argument between a passenger and a train porter.

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

'Next time I insist on flying first class!'

'Bad news, fellas... it's inventory time.'

'No, the sign's not wrong. Most of our guests like to party all night.'

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

Lost luggage turning up on Mars.

"Just barking will do."

"Who can I see about an investigation of no-show jobs?"

Baggage Claim

Excess Baggage: Perhaps you should have washed those clothes before returning home from your overseas vacation.

'Don't you think it's time we bought new suitcases?'

All gates.

"The sniffer dog had found cocaine again."

"I would have left a long time ago, but I could never find luggage I really liked."

'Pack this yourself, Miss?' (Nelly the elephant at customs).

'It appears to be a set of luggage earmarked for Dallas, mission control.'

'You want to insure it? --Just exactly what are you implying, buster?'

"We found our luggage in Cabo, but it's way happier there and isn't coming back."

Traveller with a globe on the front of his car.

Pole Dancing Every Night: 'It's one of the perks of being a weights and measures inspector.'