Luggage Attendant Gifts

Left Luggage

Octopus porter.

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

Fight or Flight

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

Airport Security.

"Would you like some wings?"

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'What's with the overnight bag, Orville?'

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

The World's Easiest Airport

The World Wide Web.

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

A private jet takes off

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

Employee of the Month Parking

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

'Flight simulator'

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Vaccination Passport

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"Folks, if you look out of your window at those clouds below, you'll have a nice view of the Grateful Dead dancing bears."

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'