Loyalist With An Edge Gifts

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

Personal Assistants.

Best friends without borders.

Frank and Ernie's Relationship Advice. It's not enough to just accept that relationships are two-way streets ... You must also avoid taking side trips down alleys!

"I, too, hate being a greedy bastard, but we have a responsibility to our shareholders."

Ethics (with an eye on the bottom line) committee.

"For goodness sake, stop this daily whining! She's just gone to work, she'll be back tonight! Get a grip!"

"Holidays with the family... Boss, I'm so happy to be back again! May I do some unpaid extra hours please?"

'I want someone who'll not just take the firms line, but the hook and sinker, too.'

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

Attempting to understand the market: Merrill Lynch, Pierce, Fenner and Freud.

'...and the Brewery are considering giving you a loyaly card!'

"Get another job? I can't! My breed can only be faithful to one master in a lifetime!"

Snowman about melting snowman: 'Just once I'd like to meet someone who isn't a fair weather friend.'

You're supposed to just copy it. The Archbishop says to knock off the ad libs!

"It doesn't help matters any when he keeps muttering, 'A good captain goes down with his ship'."

"Are you a platinum card member?"

"Money won't make you happy. Real happiness comes from having me as your best friend."

'Yours is an inspiring tale of struggle, self-sacrifice and company loyalty. I suppose my question is, so what?'

'I admit, the company logo tattooed on your forehead is a convincing display of enthusiasm.'

'Hear no evil. See no evil. Do no evil'

'Have ideals, fine - bit never let them cloud your business judgement.'

'All he wants is one more chance to prove to you that he can make $750,000 a year.'

"A paperback?! Iv'e got hundreds of books saved on this."

'God has heard your political prayers but he says that the other place is full at the moment...'

Dog checks out His Master's Website.

'I see you haven't paid me yet!'

"You see, your brain is small and mine is bigger, but it can't be much bigger or I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you."

"No, your book didn't 'lock up' on you. You actually have to turn the page."

"I was asked to support our national football team. . . by staying at home and cheering the boys on TV."

Items From the Jay Leno Fan Club

'How am I going to tell him he's no longer my best friend?'

If you choose to read on a Kindle in the privacy of your own home, that's your business, but we're still calling this a @#$% book club.