Loyalist With A Twist Gifts

'I admit, the company logo tattooed on your forehead is a convincing display of enthusiasm.'

"What I do is pick up the morning paper, go through it carefully, and then, depending on how I feel about things, I either say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand there and do nothing, or walk out of the classroom."

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

Personal Assistants.

Frank and Ernie's Relationship Advice. It's not enough to just accept that relationships are two-way streets ... You must also avoid taking side trips down alleys!

Best friends without borders.

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

"For goodness sake, stop this daily whining! She's just gone to work, she'll be back tonight! Get a grip!"

Have food. Need toilet paper

'You cal it loyalty, we call it Stockholm Syndrome!'

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

'...and the Brewery are considering giving you a loyaly card!'

"Get another job? I can't! My breed can only be faithful to one master in a lifetime!"

"The disciples are gonna be totally freaked."

It's a recording contract from the whale's agent.

Snowman about melting snowman: 'Just once I'd like to meet someone who isn't a fair weather friend.'

'Oh my god!'

North Pole with Sundial.

A bomb appears in the shadow of the Statue of Liberty.

"It doesn't help matters any when he keeps muttering, 'A good captain goes down with his ship'."

"Money won't make you happy. Real happiness comes from having me as your best friend."

"What a gloriously sunny day...! I must get in the garden and burn something..."

'Have ideals, fine - bit never let them cloud your business judgement.'

"I deal. Therefore I am an idealist."

"I'm just not sure this is the direction we want to take."

Dog checks out His Master's Website.

'All he wants is one more chance to prove to you that he can make $750,000 a year.'

"The person who gets this job must demonstrate a sincere willingness to go down with the ship."

"You see, your brain is small and mine is bigger, but it can't be much bigger or I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you."

"I was asked to support our national football team. . . by staying at home and cheering the boys on TV."

Donald Trump said he'd have run into that school shooting without a gun to stop it. I'm way ahead of you, Randy. I've already developed a first-person shooter based on the Call of Duty engine. You play Trump, all decked out in his usual black suit and red power tie. Video-game Trump has to personally take out all of America's enemies. He's armed with nothing but his uncouth tweets. Game has a bug, though. As soon as it starts, video-game Trump keeps getting deferments because of bone spurs. Call