Loyal Sports Enthusiast Gifts

"Depressed, anxious, unsure about the future...It's very common for people in your position, have you thought about supporting a different team?"

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Go team!

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

Football Chameleon

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

If nobody had invented graphics

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

Mixed Doubles.

A day at the transgenic races

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Ratminton

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'