Old-time Sports Enthusiast Gifts

"Tyler lost interest in baseball once he tried old-time boxing."

I like the Jets...I guess

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

If nobody had invented graphics

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

Football Chameleon

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Gary turns 40.

"How should we divide the teams?"

Saving a Heart

A married couple share the same pole vault.

Ratminton

A day at the transgenic races

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

The best PE teacher in the World.