Low Sodium Diet Gifts

The low sodium diet of last resort.'

Soup of the month.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

The discovery of asparagus.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Macho Vegetarian

"You won’t need refills."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'