Low Commitment Lifestyle Gifts

"I get one every week. It's for people too busy for relationships."

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

Item #3715 - cozy cardigan

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

Jewelry Store Has Rings For Every Type of Relationship

"You won’t need refills."

Whatever!

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

"Guess the weight you used to be"

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'The old woman who lives in a shoe gets a camper van.'

Life coach faces the Grim Reaper

"I used to be old, too, but it wasn't my cup of tea."

'You ought to wise up, and get into a more contemporary lifestyle - and the first step is to become a vegetarian.'

'Watch yourself.'

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

What do you tell someone who asks you what kind of work you do?

"They grow up so slow."

'It can't last.'

'Hopefully these sessions will help you to adjust to flying economy.'

Man on treadmill with one leg in a cast.

Fast food eater dreams of fruit...fruit eater dreams of junk food.

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

"Can we get some more nicotine patches, pal?"