Commitment-free Enthusiast Gifts

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

"People will pay anything to get away from it all. These babies don't even have WiFi on them."

'Maybe we could hold the wedding on 'Casual Friday'.'

"There's no phones, social media, selfies, reality TV, online trolls, political-correctness or fake news."

'I'll do half of it.'

"Let's bury the TV remote and all the cell phones, then sit back and watch what happens."

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

"I had to close all my social media accounts. They were making me anti-social."

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

Man wearing t-shirt - 'Apathetic but don't care'.

I've got no cell phone, no computer, no grumbling wife, no stupid boss. Feel free to envy me.

"There you are, dear. . . that's you all set to watch satuday night television now!"

"Most men brag about their fancy cars, but...you paid off all your student loans...wow!"

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

"Haven't you guys ever heard of 'casual Fridays'?"

"It says, 'Formal'. Do you have clean socks to wear with your sandals?"

The anti-social network: 'In other words, you want to help the internet blow itself up.'

"I've always worked from home."

'I suppose I'll get married some day - I just don't want to be there when it happens,'

"When are you going to accept the fact that it's over between us?!"

Product Testing: Nicotine and Cosmetics.

'We're half serious about getting married. I am, and he isn't.'

"I'm Crusoe and this is my assistant, Dress Down Friday."

"Do you have a card that expresses my undying love and devotion...But with a six month get out clause."

Invention No 123. The Anti-prune Mirror

Photos millennials post vs. photos Gen Z kids post

"Doggone it, Penelope, I'm crazy about you! I'm begging you, please, please don't divorce me!"

"Will you marry me for a few years?"

'Let's put it another way, marry me, or I'll put you on tomorrow's menu!'

Requiem for a Workaholic

'It's so refreshing to meet someone who doesn't blog.'