Low-cal Crusader Gifts

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

What the heck is wrong with people? These leftovers are perfectly good – and #5 plastics go in the recycling bin!

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"The doctor said I need more calcium, so I'm switching from dark to milk chocolate."

It's a Dog's life

"Look at this terrible mess! Let's all roll up our sleeves and clean it up!"

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"We've got a class-action suit if I ever saw one."

"Miles... I'm going abstract!"

'What's all this pet's rights stuff addressed to you?'

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

'Good Cholesterol Vs. Bad Cholesterol'

Relaxation Technique

"You may join the crew, Sir, but first you must promise never to write a book about us."

"I'm bored: Let's go and swoop over cyclists' heads and scare the heck out of them..."

'Good thing we're not litigious.'

'Okay! Okay! Maybe we do have a global warming problem.'

"How much energy did you use to create me? I wasn't awakened with nuclear power, was I?..."

'Notice how the TV goes dim when we stop pedalling!'

'It's true what they say - we're a nation of dog lovers!'

'We all contribute something to the world... my contribution is toxic waste.'

'There's a gleam in his eye!'

"I'd like to lose 35%of me!"

"My philosophy has always been 'Don't sweat the small stuff -- it's all small stuff!'"

'Brian's decided to reduce his carbolic foot-print.'

"Remember, guys – what happens in this CrossFit gym is references ad nauseam outside this CrossFit gym

That'll teach you to chase cars!'

Personal Calorie Counter

Bikes versus Cars

A Dog Who Never Got His Day.

'We've got your cholesterol, Dominic!'