Loves Cosmetic Humor Gifts

'She's definitely had work done.'

I see braces in his future.

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

"You've been grinding your fangs."

"I'm saying we lash out for the 'Deluxe' collagen treatment, next time, honey."

Dentist Speak - Monologues

'Oh, great... Big date tonight and I've got a zit on my nose.'

Dentist Suction

'If you find any loose ones, I have dibs on them for the tooth fairy.'

"Thanks, Doc- you've put me back in business."

F&E Dentistry. Happy Halloween. That pumpkin doesn't have any teeth! He never brushed --- It's a plaque-o-lantern.

"Your eyebrows are beautiful, darling. I know you hate drawing them on."

"You know Gladys, you seem to be getting younger by the minute. What's your secret?" "I finally decided to get a few injections of bootox. It works wonders!"

Licensed to drill.

'You really should Floss.'

'What filling do you want?' 'Chocolate.'

'Silicone implant ward.'

"This zit is growing way out of control!"

'BOTOX...QUICK!

Emergency room: 'He has a dislocated jaw, because his dentist kept telling him to, 'open wider'!'

Elephant nose jobs

Dracula's false teeth

'Do you extract teeth?'

"Well, this anti-aging cream clearly states it removes crow's feet."

Crocodile Flossing

'The Novocain seems to have kicked in,'

'Oh dear.'

'That's the second gold tooth he's swallowed.'

The bad news is that your teeth are shot. The good news is that you have the uvula of a man half your age.'

"Trust me, she's had work done."

Botox secretary.

'There's a risk of headaches as a side effect I'm afraid.'

Whenever he had patients who needed extractions, Dr. Durmley challenged them to yank out each other's tooth.

'I'm ninety-seven years old and I still have all my own teeth.'

'Damn! Got to change denture adhesives.'