Lovers Of Modern Attitudes Gifts

"First of all, stop calling them 'wishes'. That's loser talk. We call them 'goals'."

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

Robocop and Juliet.

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

Mid-century Father

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

"We even tried cyber sex, but the line was always busy."

"Our Trash Dash order is on its way."

Modern Charm

Virginia Woolf

'To be built on this site - an exact duplicate of the building that was just turn down (we liked the international style after all).

Jack Kerouac

Mid century modern. Midwest boring

". . . Do you both like and subscribe. . ."

"Darling, a rather uncomfortable distance has developed between me and the furniture."

'I usually don't do online dating.'

'No, I don't remember asking you to move in with me. Not only that, I don't remember who you are!'

"I got rid of all the excess in my life."

Baby in carrier is watching TV on dad's back.

Whatever

"Guess which one I made with a 3-D printer."

Cupid views his online credit rating.

5-hour relationship drug.

"He must be really serious to send you something a permanent as an email."

"I remember when these two matched on Hinge, casually retweeted quips on Tweitter, lost each other for a bit, slid into Instagram DMs...and here we are at regular texting and marriage."

"I'm not at all convinced by Santa's new hipster look."

"Do you take this person for better or worse, rich or poor, in sickness even with a high co-pay?"

"Don't waste your ammo pal, we're just f**k buddies."

"And, for music, you want traditional or new age?"

"He looked a lot bigger online."