Lovers Of Modern Attitudes Pillows

"First of all, stop calling them 'wishes'. That's loser talk. We call them 'goals'."

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

Robocop and Juliet.

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

Mid-century Father

Friday night was always sext night.

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

Modern Charm

"We even tried cyber sex, but the line was always busy."

Virginia Woolf

'To be built on this site - an exact duplicate of the building that was just turn down (we liked the international style after all).

Jack Kerouac

"Our Trash Dash order is on its way."

'I usually don't do online dating.'

'He used to think, now he just googles everything.'

"Darling, a rather uncomfortable distance has developed between me and the furniture."

Mid century modern. Midwest boring

". . . Do you both like and subscribe. . ."

'No, I don't remember asking you to move in with me. Not only that, I don't remember who you are!'

"I got rid of all the excess in my life."

Baby in carrier is watching TV on dad's back.

"Guess which one I made with a 3-D printer."

Whatever

"Do you take this person for better or worse, rich or poor, in sickness even with a high co-pay?"

"I remember when these two matched on Hinge, casually retweeted quips on Tweitter, lost each other for a bit, slid into Instagram DMs...and here we are at regular texting and marriage."

"He must be really serious to send you something a permanent as an email."

It's been a long time, Rudy. Sixteen months, two weeks, four days, sixteen hours, seven minutes. You're kidding me. There's an iPhone app. It tracks the crucial experiences in my life. I'm kidding you. Did you just make a joke at the expense of yourself and your device? I'm impressed. Sorry device. I'll make it up to you, darling.

5-hour relationship drug.

"I'm not at all convinced by Santa's new hipster look."

Cupid views his online credit rating.

"Don't waste your ammo pal, we're just f**k buddies."

"And, for music, you want traditional or new age?"