Lover Of Zen Humor Gifts

Valentine for Guru.

Albert Einstein

"Look! No hands!"

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

The Hammer

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"You are still here."

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

Public footpath on a desert island.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

'I AM a magician! When I wake up granddad from his nap, I turn Gramps into Grumps!'

'Where Are They Now?'

Anti-inflammation recipes

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'Right now I'm counting the blessings that we owe to Uncle Sam.'

'You're a good man, Henderson, but you don't have your staff's respect.'

"I'll have dessert first."

"Fit the reality to our statistics!"

Zenboni

'Whoops. There goes one of my prostheses.'

"Sir? - it's clowntime."

New anti-obesity cookbook.

"In this series, the artist is in dialogue with her printer."

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

Clown's knee reflex sends doctor through ceiling

Healthy Eating Casualties

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

'I really felt at home there. The food was awful!'