Lover Of The Mystical And Mysterious T-Shirts

'You must not let your guard down,. In the very near future, I see you being ripped off by an old lady...OK handsome, that'll be two hundred bucks!'

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

They say animals have the sixth sense and the talent to look into the future...

I channeled John Dewey. He says if you want to be a good teacher, don't teach reading and writing. Teach students.

Centaur falls in love.

"Oh, a resume is not necessary. I know all about you."

"Why do you need to know if I've made a will?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Graeae

"Jerry, you can't keep coming back from the dead every time I have coffee with someone."

Octopus Lady

"That door's no protection against Hobgoblins." - Elf And Safety Inspector

"What's this, a confession written in code. . .?"

"Not only do I curse you but your descendants also. Know that they will be so heavily taxed they'll be forced to open this castle as a tourist attraction!"

When I said I wanted a second opinion on my prognosis, this isn't exactly what I meant.

'According to this, my coffin should be facing the south side of the crypt.'

Meaning Of Life $5.00

Sasq-watch: A Watch in the form of Sasquatch/Bigfoot

''See, I told you this whole Bigfoot thing was nothing more than an elaborate hoax.''

'Never mind all that stuff! Can you see somewhere to park next tuesday?'

"And right about then the price of great big stones went out of sight."

Route 666

"Madam Zelda passed to the other side last week. Would you want me to get a message to her?"

Monster in the Alley.

'What d'you see?!? What d'you see?!?'

Modern Fortune Tellers

'I lost my evil eye once I got my contacts'

'Don't raise your hopes, George - We don't have a frying pan that size!!'

"I see love, adventure and happiness coming into my life!"

"What do my stars say today?"

"I kind of like you in these moods, Phil!"

'My new crystal ball has made me enormously popular!'

"I really must complain; this soup is delicious."

"Darling we need to talk about our future."

'The red pphone is my hotline to Alan Greenspan.'