Lover Of Humorous Moments Pillows

Meeting Melanie's parents suddenly turns awkward.

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

'Right, now learn this trick...'

"Excuse me, officer, but I believe I'm entitled to one mating call..."

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

"Sorry, honey, I used up all the sunblock. How 'bout we cover you in mayonnaise instead?"

'I've written you a song' - 'Oh, that's very kind of you. What's it called?' - 'It's called 'I'll stay with you forever baby.'' - 'How sweet. Let me hear it...' - 'Ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai,

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

'You had me at hell.'

Making sure the pitcher is up for the job.

'Well, so far the only ones to answer our fondue party invitation are the rats in our basement.'

"The computers are down. You'll just have to suffer and go outside and play."

'We dicovered that this cures hypochondria without administering it.'

'What are you implying?'

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have a bit of trouble with those in the back yard.'

'You could have just TOLD me we were out of cups!'

'Pavlov's first experiment'

'Oh yeah, I forgot.'

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

The first step is losing the illusion that you're in control of your actions.

"The Pain may be due to your Yin and Yang being out of alignment, but humour me and lets see if your broken let is part of the problem."

"Look, I'm bored, you're bored – why don't you let me go down there and shake things up a bit?"

Aristophanes

"I don't know about turning, but I was tossing all night."

"I came here because my photography work is suffering - everybody on social media says they love my abstract pictures. The problem is, I do landscape pictures."

'You look lovely today.'

"Just a reminder, … I'll be billing all seven personalities together."

Dentist preparing woodwork drill for dentistry.

No caption (Aliens ride in a spaceship. Their luggage is stowed in a clear capsule underneath the craft).

"It's nice, but I fell in love with a caterpillar."

'I can't believe we do this for a living.'

"You might like my daughter. She's single and desperate too."

"The catch is you only get one chopstick"

"All day, every day—'There's a goddam fly in here!' It's so hurtful."

"You will meet a tall, dark stranger. Unfortunately, it's a grizzly bear!"