Lover Of Diner Culture Gifts

"So what exactly is wrong with the teabag? Nobody else has complained about it!"

Diner.

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

'Who gets the decaf?'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Mom's Diner/Mom's Desserts

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Choice hellhole

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

"I'll have the prayer breakfast."

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

Baracracy

"The usual."

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'