American Diner Aficionado Gifts

'Hey handsome, mind if I buy you a drink?'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

'Who gets the decaf?'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"....and hold the garlic."

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'How would you like your toast?'

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.