Lover Of All Things Competitive Gifts

Competitive Horse at the Racetracks.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Can our software do that?'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Tension filled the tent.

Putin and Zelensky

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

"It's a jungle out there... and I hear you're an expert."

COWS: Cow Pong

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

Cheerleaders

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'You bought an F-14 equipped with an internal 20 mm vulcan gatling-type paintball gun? I think you might be taking this paintball thing a little too seriously!'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

Workplace Shinanigans

No Time-Outs Left. Please Help.

"Look the competition has a big, stupid product. We need a big, stupid product of our own, and we need it now!"

Office Competitions

'What a control freak!'

Angels crying because they lost first place to a big butch man

Big Guys vs Little Guys

"Yeah, I won the Finest Quality Wool award, but it was a tough competition: There were contestants from all over Australia and New Zealand..."

A report on one-upmanship in TV newscasts.

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

'There goes Finley...turning pro.'

"I quit."

Hat Wars.

Motivational tip #731: Appeal to their sense of entitlement.

'We're not looking for someone who wants to run with the wolves. We're looking for someone who wants to run over them.'

'No, no, no...kick the ball into touch! The ball!'

"But seriously, medal of honor from the Academy of Sciences aside, who are you?"

Eight puns