Love Theorists Gifts

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

'My serotonin levels have maxed-out, my brain is awash in glucocoriticoids and, if it weren't for my leveling endogenous opiates, I'd float out that window!'

Sexual chemistry set

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

"Now look, Frank, Molly, there's nothing wrong with a Polar Bear and a Penguin being in a relationship. In fact, in my experience, Polar opposites attract!"

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

'I like a woman who's open and friendly, as long as she's only that way with me.'

Physicists disputing whether the clock moves backwards or forwards according to season change.

Cupid misses his shot.

"If you could time-travel back to any period in history, would your love for me keep you from going?"

"I miss the way it was when I thought you knew everything."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

'You had me at 'C - R C = (2 x S X).'

'Love gets the credit, but business makes the world go round.'

'Marriage ain't for this puppy. I'm way too romantic.'

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

"If only I liked you a little more and you liked like me a little less."

"He's all mine. Life is good."

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

Yes, but.

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'