Love's Lamenters Pillows

Joe's Bar: "Forget Her" Hour, 5-8.

Life is for the birds.

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

"It's our most popular gift - a helium cookie."

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

Cupid

"Everybody meets online these days."

Puppy Love

"Till death us do part? Don't be so bloody morbid!"

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

'It started with a kiss - then their nose rings got locked.'

"Bob, the whole Cupid thing is a metaphor."

"I was hoping you'd consider this a prelude to a kiss."

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

'As a romantic guy, nature always makes me thoughtful. Right now, I think about fast-food restaurant stocks.'

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

'There are lots of fish in the sea.'

"How sweet of you to say -- and how dare you!"

"If this means we're married the future looks gnarly."

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

Heart is sewn back together.

Online Dating for Dummies

'What, not even a kiss first?'

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

Old Love