Love Diviner Gifts

"He loves me!"

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Emotional Bling

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

Scot holding a heart.

Two men wearing laurels and holding hands

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

'He's not so much a rough diamond, more a dumb block of carbon.'

"...and right here in Q2 is where the 'you know what' hit the fan. . ."

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

Crystal Ball Plug

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

'What's the use? Everyone has his own PC future-probability program these days.'

"Where should we target our advertising dollars? "Hold on, I'm checking my website."

"It's going to snow! Is that it?"

A self-filling prophecy.

End of world nigh!!!

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

...In a Relationship

'Waiter, there's going to be a fly in my soup!'

"You will dance on your enemy's grave."

"No, not there! It'll block out all our light!"

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

Some line managers like to use graphs in performance management meetings.

Reading the future in beard stubble.