Delivery Diviner Gifts

"Can you deliver that to me?"

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

Crystal Ball Plug

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

Yeah? Delivery! Come on up!

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

'What's the use? Everyone has his own PC future-probability program these days.'

"Where should we target our advertising dollars? "Hold on, I'm checking my website."

End of world nigh!!!

'Honey, it's not the Feds. It's the pseudo-feds.'

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

'Waiter, there's going to be a fly in my soup!'

A self-filling prophecy.

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

"Yes, we've accepted late deliveries before... but 75 years!!!"

"You will dance on your enemy's grave."

"It's going to snow! Is that it?"

"What do you say we let the service sector handle our dining needs for tonight?"

"The future's looking bleak! Is that it?"

Fortune teller using a computer rather than traditional methods

Even before we began to order in, my dad was always keen to skip the dishes!

Reading the future in beard stubble.

Plugged In

"You'll meet a handsome young man who will marry your best friend."