Love Clever Satire Gifts

'This is fine now, but what will we do on casual Friday?'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough...

"It's not what you think."

"Our battle with Covid-19 has been a triumph."

"For me it's all about the craft of acting."

'Now that I think about it, you're right: Like bankers, we thrive on the misfortune of others...'

'It'll make 'feet' obsolete!'

"You're wonderful, Kimberly, and I want to be married, but I'm looking for a complete unknown."

"Hey, that's what everyone thinks about the strategic planning department! I've got a crystal ball and we all study the occult! Hah Hah Hah!..."

"These should help me approach your father on his own level."

"He and I connected physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially, humorously, technologically, and self-destructively."

"Divorced?" "Separated."

"Have you got anyone on your books who's desperate and doesn't care what I look like?"

"Read my lips!"

"It wasn't until after fifty years of marriage that Mike finally learned the importance of putting the seat down." "Happy anniversary. Now flush."

Cupid accidentally kills one of his targets.

'It would never work, Shep - I'm housebroken, you're not.'

"You're a pig in bed."

"Let's contemplate how I'd benefit from repealing last week's Brexit decision the good old refined English art?"

"You've always let me down in this marriage."

'I said he could sleep with me... well... he's asleep.'

"You know I don't like to cuddle."

Man in crowd with heart shaped hat.

'Marriage is a wonderful institution, I'll grant you that, but who wants to live in an institution?'

"It's unconditional love Thursday through Sunday ONLY. It's in the prenup!"

'Wait! The dating agency got it wrong! You should have dated me before her!'