Love Clever Satire Gifts

'This is fine now, but what will we do on casual Friday?'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

'Mint?! These taste like cardboard!'

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

"It's not what you think."

Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough...

"Our battle with Covid-19 has been a triumph."

'Now that I think about it, you're right: Like bankers, we thrive on the misfortune of others...'

"For me it's all about the craft of acting."

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

'It'll make 'feet' obsolete!'

Analysts have said the US and Russia are closer to nuclear war than ever. The outcome of the election tomorrow will probably determine whether we live in mediocrity … or whether we suffer a nuclear apocalypse in which a crafty café owner, who's squirreled away scones and ammunition in a vast network of underground bunkers, could rise to become feudal warlord of a brand new world. So ... who are you voting for again? The person I've been preparing ever since 2nd grade to vote for.

"These should help me approach your father on his own level."

"He and I connected physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially, humorously, technologically, and self-destructively."

"You're wonderful, Kimberly, and I want to be married, but I'm looking for a complete unknown."

"Hey, that's what everyone thinks about the strategic planning department! I've got a crystal ball and we all study the occult! Hah Hah Hah!..."

"Divorced?" "Separated."

"It wasn't until after fifty years of marriage that Mike finally learned the importance of putting the seat down." "Happy anniversary. Now flush."

"You've always let me down in this marriage."

'I said he could sleep with me... well... he's asleep.'

'It would never work, Shep - I'm housebroken, you're not.'

"Read my lips!"

"You're a pig in bed."

"Let's contemplate how I'd benefit from repealing last week's Brexit decision the good old refined English art?"

Cupid accidentally kills one of his targets.

"Have you got anyone on your books who's desperate and doesn't care what I look like?"

"You know I don't like to cuddle."

Man in crowd with heart shaped hat.

"Separate clouds, please."

'Wait! The dating agency got it wrong! You should have dated me before her!'

'He keeps saying that he is a 'self-made-man' it's good of him to take the blame!'