Satire And Irony Loves Gifts

Covid pollution

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

U of Debt

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

Next gen pregnancy tests.

"She wishes to range free!"

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

Police film evidence

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

The Great Leap Forward

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

Novak Djokovic has his visa denied to play in Australia as he is unvaccinated

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'