Lottery Strategists Pillows

Lottery Here. Don't you know the lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math? Yes, but we're hoping for a huge tax refund.

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Bribes for Jabs

'I don't like to take chances.'

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

'I'm sorry, Bob, it wasn't you who won the mega-pool. It was Helen in accounting.' (to man mooning boss).

"Have you been scratching this?"

Highlights for Adults

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

Horse five to win, unless they change the jockey.

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

"It's lotto fever."

"What lucky stranger's hitting the jackpot tonight?"

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

Eurozone leaders reach consensus. . .

Snacks. Food. Drinks. Win! Play! LOTTO here! I changed my name to "Lottery Ticket" and hang out here. It's a great place to get scratched!

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

"In light of current market conditions, I've diversified your portfolio to include Lotto tickets and bingo chips."

SMALL BUSINESS LOANS, 'Your business plan seems to depend on winning a lot of state lotteries....'

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

'Of course, it's marvellous news! Absolutely marvellous! My Word! A national lottery winner! Wonderful stroke of luck!'

"I just hit the lottery for a million bucks, so today I'm going to punch that timeclock for the last time."