Gambling Strategist Pillows

"The longer we can keep them gambling, the more they lose."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'I don't like to take chances.'

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

"Before we start, does anyone fancy a bet on the outcome?"

Destination casinos...

Horse five to win, unless they change the jockey.

"I've invented the wheel. We're going to be rich."

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

"It's lotto fever."

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

'Do your homework! - You gotta learn math if you want to be a bookie!'

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"Spend a pound, lend a pound, risk a pound and shed a pound."

Unnatural Selection.

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

Scrabble with the Hares and Tortoise

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

"Come on, Lucky Lady!"

Between pub and bookie: 'Very sought-after position.'

'I'm all in.'

'You've got a degree in mathematics? Well, the economy isn't logical. It's about irrationality, superstition, gossip and pure luck. You need a degree in gambling and black magic.'