Lottery Aficionado Pillows

"That's right! Publishing Clearing Warehouse and the Angel of Death are here to congratulate YOU, Harry M. Beemis, for winning our 'Good News/Bad News Sweepstakes!'"

Prize vegetables.

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

Destination casinos...

'Okay, that's 4 for the Malbec, 3 for the Chianti and 2 for the Merlot. You want to go with that, or wait for the write-in votes?'

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

"Have you been scratching this?"

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

"It's lotto fever."

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

"There's a tell."

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

Eurozone leaders reach consensus. . .

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

After they became friends, Rudolph found out just what reindeer games the reindeer played.

'Talk about lack of trust! My trainer didn't even bet on me, but I showed him: I won the race!'

"Where's the NHS money coming from? Well, I've decided that we will invest £10,000 a week into Euro lottery tickets..."

"I'm out. I've got a paw hand."

'Ordinarily I wouldn't do anything like that, Mr. Hubbard, but I just hit $2 million in the lottery!'

University students practising arithmetic through betting odds

"The good news is, my son is a potential winner, bad news, I'm still buying his lottery tickets."