Lottery Lover Pillows

"It is unwise to have ones assets evenly divided among stocks, bonds and lottery tickets."

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

'Be quiet, I'm trying to tell you that I don't love you anymore, and the marriage is off!'

'Sorry - those figures aren't part of the equation. They're my lottery numbers.'

This Week's Winning Numbers

The problem with Scratch N Sniff lottery tickets.

'I've only got two numbers to go on the bingo!'

'A simple invasion, gas, and lottery tickets. Lottery tickets, dude! I can't believe you forgot the lottery tickets!'

Trying to make ends meet in a parallel universe.

Man reading letter, 'You may already be a winner' about to step on rake.

'To give employees hope and keep morale up, once a month, you get a lottery ticket!'

Social Security Scratcher.

'I want to give back to my community by helping others. Aren't lottery winners a particularly sad and needy group?'

"You have a choice - our 401k plan or a free lottery ticket each Monday morning for 20 years."

'When did the IRS start paying refunds in lottery tickets?'

"I've invested all your money into a government back security...the state lottery."

'The cat does like having something to scratch.'

No soliciting - unless you're one of those sweepstakes

"You've got to spend money to make money, so I bought a thousand lottery tickets."

'We're looking for hard working optimists, because we pay straight commission plus a monthly lottery ticket.'

Gipsy Rose: Sorry Closed, Back in 6 Months, Won the Lottery Again.

The eskimo lottery...

"Who would have thought, us in Hawaii, still we'd better get used to mixin' with the jet set. . ."

"I've no interest or hobbies, I'm a pretty dull old stick really, the only exciting thing that's happened to me was winning £4 million on the lottery..."

"It appears to be an instant lottery ticket. Try not to scratch it."

FATE...

Eurozone leaders reach consensus. . .

Euro crisis solved!

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

'Let's start a lottery with a million ducat prize. In order to give it an air of respectability, of course I'll be the first winner.'

Couple with a scratch card - 'Wow! We haven't won a free holiday...'

'Portnoy, in Lieu of a raise or bonus, I'm giving you these 'instant winner' lottery scratch-off card.'

'Don't bother me now Edith, I only need one more number to win the lottery jackpot!'

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

"Wow, I finally won the lottery!"