Lottery Lover Pillows

"It is unwise to have ones assets evenly divided among stocks, bonds and lottery tickets."

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

'Be quiet, I'm trying to tell you that I don't love you anymore, and the marriage is off!'

'Sorry - those figures aren't part of the equation. They're my lottery numbers.'

This Week's Winning Numbers

The problem with Scratch N Sniff lottery tickets.

Man reading letter, 'You may already be a winner' about to step on rake.

'I've only got two numbers to go on the bingo!'

'A simple invasion, gas, and lottery tickets. Lottery tickets, dude! I can't believe you forgot the lottery tickets!'

"I've invested all your money into a government back security...the state lottery."

No soliciting - unless you're one of those sweepstakes

'The cat does like having something to scratch.'

'When did the IRS start paying refunds in lottery tickets?'

"You have a choice - our 401k plan or a free lottery ticket each Monday morning for 20 years."

Social Security Scratcher.

'To give employees hope and keep morale up, once a month, you get a lottery ticket!'

'I want to give back to my community by helping others. Aren't lottery winners a particularly sad and needy group?'

'Don't bother me now Edith, I only need one more number to win the lottery jackpot!'

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

'Portnoy, in Lieu of a raise or bonus, I'm giving you these 'instant winner' lottery scratch-off card.'

Couple with a scratch card - 'Wow! We haven't won a free holiday...'

'Let's start a lottery with a million ducat prize. In order to give it an air of respectability, of course I'll be the first winner.'

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

Euro crisis solved!

Eurozone leaders reach consensus. . .

'We're looking for hard working optimists, because we pay straight commission plus a monthly lottery ticket.'

Gipsy Rose: Sorry Closed, Back in 6 Months, Won the Lottery Again.

"Me? Keeping winning scratch cards? Never!! Champagne officer?"

Millionaires club: "The bad news is, this recession has forced us to recruit lottery winners!"

"Gracie, I bought a lotto ticket based on the numbers you dreamed about yesterday!"

"Look, Tia Carmen...I bought lottery tickets!"

"My advance warning system."

"Apparently, they're 'old money'. He's one of the very first National lottery winners."

"Wow, Tia Carmen! This is a big shrine!"

"Dear kids, Santa's numbers came up on the lottery so don't be expecting me dropping down your chimney this Christmas."