Lottery Fan Pillows

'...here are this week's lucky fur balls.'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

'I'm sorry, Bob, it wasn't you who won the mega-pool. It was Helen in accounting.' (to man mooning boss).

Highlights for Adults

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

"Have you been scratching this?"

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

"It's lotto fever."

"What lucky stranger's hitting the jackpot tonight?"

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

Eurozone leaders reach consensus. . .

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

SMALL BUSINESS LOANS, 'Your business plan seems to depend on winning a lot of state lotteries....'

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

"Where's the NHS money coming from? Well, I've decided that we will invest £10,000 a week into Euro lottery tickets..."

'Ordinarily I wouldn't do anything like that, Mr. Hubbard, but I just hit $2 million in the lottery!'

"The good news is, my son is a potential winner, bad news, I'm still buying his lottery tickets."

'Of course, it's marvellous news! Absolutely marvellous! My Word! A national lottery winner! Wonderful stroke of luck!'