Lottery Lovers Pillows

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

Spy Lotto

'Portnoy, in lieu of a raise or bonus, I'm giving you these 'instant winner' lottery scratch-off cards.'

'Why not take part of your check in lottery tickets?'

"Nothing is more aggravating than someone else's good luck."

"Do you reckon I could risk going out to buy a lottery ticket?"

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Bribes for Jabs

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

Why do you hate the media?

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

'I'm sorry, Bob, it wasn't you who won the mega-pool. It was Helen in accounting.' (to man mooning boss).

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

Highlights for Adults

"Have you been scratching this?"

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

"What lucky stranger's hitting the jackpot tonight?"

"It's lotto fever."

Snacks. Food. Drinks. Win! Play! LOTTO here! I changed my name to "Lottery Ticket" and hang out here. It's a great place to get scratched!

Eurozone leaders reach consensus. . .

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

"In light of current market conditions, I've diversified your portfolio to include Lotto tickets and bingo chips."

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

'At least someone can afford to travel by train.'

SMALL BUSINESS LOANS, 'Your business plan seems to depend on winning a lot of state lotteries....'

'We're identical twins, but I'm luckier than he is!'