Lottery Lovers Gifts

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

'Portnoy, in lieu of a raise or bonus, I'm giving you these 'instant winner' lottery scratch-off cards.'

'Why not take part of your check in lottery tickets?'

"Nothing is more aggravating than someone else's good luck."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

Why do you hate the media?

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

'I'm sorry, Bob, it wasn't you who won the mega-pool. It was Helen in accounting.' (to man mooning boss).

"Have you been scratching this?"

Highlights for Adults

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

"What lucky stranger's hitting the jackpot tonight?"

"It's lotto fever."

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

Eurozone leaders reach consensus. . .

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

SMALL BUSINESS LOANS, 'Your business plan seems to depend on winning a lot of state lotteries....'

'We're identical twins, but I'm luckier than he is!'

'Ordinarily I wouldn't do anything like that, Mr. Hubbard, but I just hit $2 million in the lottery!'

"Baldo, check it out...it's advice for people who've won the lottery."

"The good news is, my son is a potential winner, bad news, I'm still buying his lottery tickets."

"Where's the NHS money coming from? Well, I've decided that we will invest £10,000 a week into Euro lottery tickets..."

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

"You mean you blame your failure in life on not having won the Irish Sweepstakes in 1970?"