Lottery Aficionado Gifts

"That's right! Publishing Clearing Warehouse and the Angel of Death are here to congratulate YOU, Harry M. Beemis, for winning our 'Good News/Bad News Sweepstakes!'"

Prize vegetables.

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Bribes for Jabs

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

Great moments in art dogs playing poker, cats playing Pictionary,

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

'Okay, that's 4 for the Malbec, 3 for the Chianti and 2 for the Merlot. You want to go with that, or wait for the write-in votes?'

Destination casinos...

"Have you been scratching this?"

"It's lotto fever."

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

"There's a tell."

"In light of current market conditions, I've diversified your portfolio to include Lotto tickets and bingo chips."

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

Eurozone leaders reach consensus. . .

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

Snacks. Food. Drinks. Win! Play! LOTTO here! I changed my name to "Lottery Ticket" and hang out here. It's a great place to get scratched!

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

'Talk about lack of trust! My trainer didn't even bet on me, but I showed him: I won the race!'

After they became friends, Rudolph found out just what reindeer games the reindeer played.

'Ordinarily I wouldn't do anything like that, Mr. Hubbard, but I just hit $2 million in the lottery!'

"The good news is, my son is a potential winner, bad news, I'm still buying his lottery tickets."

"Where's the NHS money coming from? Well, I've decided that we will invest £10,000 a week into Euro lottery tickets..."

"I'm out. I've got a paw hand."